In the past few months, I have experienced the stark contrast between two different styles of life: being a full-time student and working full-time. While I was going to school, I always found myself looking forward to the days when I would be working 40 hours a week so that I would finally have time in the evenings and on weekends to do things. Now that I am in that stage of life, I constantly find myself daydreaming back to the days when I was in school and I remember all of the time I had throughout the day to get things done that I always took for granted. It's funny how perspectives change. The point is, that in every stage of life, it is so easy to get caught up in the day-to-day, the tasks and to-do lists, that we can lose focus on our ultimate goal. For example, being a student is of course about gaining an education, but that does not just mean gaining "booksmarts." Gaining an education and going away to school thankfully goes beyond textbooks and lectures and involves diverse elements woven together to make us the person we are when we graduate. Elements like, learning to live independently, learning to think critically, learning to challenge and explore ideas, learning to live harmoniously with others, some even learn financial planning, etc. But when it is 3:00 a.m. and you have a 20-page paper due the next day, it's easy to lose perspective and recognize that although important, the grade isn't everything. Similarly, while working full-time during the week, you see your co-workers, bosses, and to-do lists more than you see your family and friends. With this sort of time commitment, it's easy to keep your mind focused on the tasks at hand, even when you're not at work. What is so easy to forget is the reasons that so many of us work 40-hours a week in the first place. For many of us, it is to pay rent, to put food on the table, to have the resources to spend and enjoy time with family or friends, to have the resources to give yourself and maybe your family the lives that you dream of. Again, with so much business to get done it's easy to lose sight of the purpose.
Unfortunately, we often don't realize how devastating losing perspective is. When we lose perspective and get caught up in the day-to-day, we can lose sight of what's important, what has meaning, and what is truly significant. What a tragedy it is when one day we look around at our lives and we realize that we have mistaken life's little annoyances for great tribulations. By doing so, we allow our lives to have less joy and less compassion, something the world doesn't have enough of. Conversely, anyone who has experienced this knows how beautiful the joy is when we do gain perspective on a situation and realize how blessed we are to have on of our biggest troubles be the shattered screen on our brand new iphone 5 that we were fortunate enough to have the money to buy.
In no way am I trying to discredit or brush over the true sufferings that life can plunge you into against your will. There are so many individuals who do suffer deeply because of life's circumstances. It is knowing that this authentic tribulation exists that should ground us with awareness and cause us to count our blessings. When we get frustrated or torn up about something, we may do ourselves well to stop and gain some perspective on the situation. Being frustrated about situations may often be warranted, but inflating the magnitude of the circumstances helps no one. In taking time to step back from our circumstances, although they may be unpleasant, we may become thankful that whatever our trouble is may be the worst of our worries and walk away with an enriched life full of compassion for those who may be deeply stuggling.
Reflecting on the importance and beauty of stepping back to gain perspective on situations causes me to think about the trendy phrase, "First world problems." This phrase is intended to do exactly what I have been talking about, give us perspective on our problems and help us recognize that many of our complaints are things that many individuals in third-world countries don't have the luxury of worrying about. If spoken out of love, the implications of this phrase could be powerful and encouraging. A compassion for the great struggles of others may rise up in us as we realize how fortunate we are to have many of the resources that we do. Sadly, I have yet to hear this phrase spoken in love; I have all too often heard it used instead in sarcastic, condescending, or belittling ways. Instead of conveying the message, "I know what you're dealing with is frustrating, but think of how wonderful your life is and all you have," it instead conveys, "Your problems are insignificant and don't matter, you really shouldn't even be upset about something so small." These two messages are completely opposites. The most devastatingly ironic part of this is that the purpose of this phrase, whether said with love or said condescendingly, is intended to invoke compassion for those who suffer through true hardship (whether in a first-world or third-world country), but by saying this phrase in any way other than an encouragement, the message itself defeats its own purpose. What I mean, is the purpose of the statement is to help people gain perspective of their situation and give them compassion for the problems of others, but by belittling someone through this statement, the person who says it, lacks the very compassion for the feelings and struggles of others that he or she is trying to instill.
Before we point out the lack of awareness and compassion of our friends and family, we need to first work on our own. We should be encouraging each other and building each other up, rather than tearing each other down. What joy and compassion for others would be restored to our lives if we not only took the time in frustrating moments to step back and look at our annoyances in the scope what tribulations are possible, but also decided to take a stance of compassion and true awareness of others and to be encouraging instead of disheartening.
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