There is a song that I have listened to countless times and grown to love over the past four years, but the other day I thought about the lyrics in a new light. The lyrics to the chorus are:
"I am the fourth of July, I'm throwing you a fire in the sky.
You could go blind in my light. But you were looking for
an orchid and I will always be a dandelion. You were
looking for a tea light and I will always be a forest fire."
~"Dandelion" by Antje Duvekot
This song is about a love affair that I have always interpreted as the sad story of a woman who, no matter how hard she tried, just is not good enough for the man she sings about. She is not what he wanted. Every time I hear it, my heart aches for her because she tries to be good enough, but cannot measure up to his expectations. The other day, however, as I listened to the song for the thousandth time, I suddenly identified with the singer. The song transformed from one of sadness and loss, to one of hope and empowerment; suddenly I viewed the message differently. Instead of the singer being a girl who tries to win the affection of a man, but is not good enough for him, she is a woman who is her own. She is beautifully brilliant like a firework and her life is filled with color. Her life is so brilliant that it is out of the ordinary and not what others expected of her. The man had this idea in his head of what beauty and femininity ought to be; it is delicate and fragile like an orchid. His idea is the stereotypical idea of what society claims beauty is. The woman embodies something wholly different; she is like a plant that so many are intrigued by, that so many view as a symbol of their dreams. She is not put in the box of what stereotypical beauty is just on the surface. Instead, she embodies beauty that is captivating and deeply rooted, full of life, color and passion. This woman is not simply stationary in her life like so many expect her to be, but she allows herself to wander and be blown where her dreams may lead. She is not the pretty and petite, self-contained and timid tea light. She is magnificent and wild, roaring with passion and desire not easily extinguished. No, this woman is not the typical stereotype of a perfect woman, she is better, oh so much better! My pity shifted from her to the man who lets such a woman out of his hands.
I am this woman, love story aside, there is this box that I feel pressure to fit into, but my free-spirit, my dreams, my passion and my wildness cannot be contained. I'm sure I am not alone in this feeling. Society puts expectations on us as young women that we should act a certain way and want certain things, but often we forget to question whether this is right for everyone. If you are at all like me (and if you aren't maybe you know someone who is able to relate) then you wonder why your dreams and goals and the adventures that you see up ahead seem unconventional and silly to the world, why some people view you as "too much." We must remember that we should not allow our passion to be squelched, but allow it to stand as an inspiration to others. When I graduated, I told someone my dreams and what I hoped for my future and he told me I was immature and naive, that I would grow out of those dreams. And while I may change my direction, I will never settle for the life that lacks fervor and adventure; longing for adventure is not naive, it is listening to the stirrings deep inside that we are often too afraid to listen to because they are unconventional. Whether or not this was the message the songwriter was trying to convey, the message is a necessary and beautiful one. Our fervor and inability to be tamed is captivating. The question is, how will we use it?
