In a hurry

For the past few months I have found myself stressing about life and where I'm going. I've spent all of my spare time thinking about what I want to do for a career and how I want to spend the rest of my life. I've spent a lot of time "soul searching" and asking myself what my goals are, what I'm passionate about, how I want life to look in ten years and what I need to do to make that happen. I have always kept a long list of things that I would like to do after I graduate, but many of them are things that I want to do just for the adventure and experience of it, not things that will further me professionally. My list of "to-dos" is mostly comprised of activities, like working on a summer camp staff for example, that would only delay any type of lifelong career that I'm dreaming of, so I had pushed them aside.

As I reflect back on my mindset and how "the real world" has seemed since graduation six months ago, I realize that it has felt like a race. There is a stark contrast between this race and the slow and steady pace of my thirteen year preparation for my future out of school. The day those thirteen years came to a close, the maddening race began. At first the rush consisted of frantically looking for a job for right after graduation rushing. Once the job was secured, next was thinking at least a year ahead to graduate school, which degree, which state? What about networking? Where in my timeline is marriage and kids? What will my lifelong career be? Every step I take toward completing one goal, it is no time before I am frantically thinking about my next move. The second I grabbed hold of my diploma, the floodgates opened and I felt the pressure to have my whole life planned out, not allowing a single second to go to waste; a mindset that allows for no uncertainty. And while there is value in thinking and planning ahead and recognizing that decisions I make now may affect me down the road, I realized that if I continued at this rate and did not allow time for uncertainty and exploration, for adventure and following dreams that do not make sense for me professionally, I would always be tirelessly working to get ahead, but missing the point of it all, the journey. One day I would stand at the finish line looking back at abandoned dreams and lost opportunities and wondering why I was in such a hurry to arrive.

To gain some perspective, the other day I stepped back from my whirlwind of hastiness and asked myself, "So what? So what if you go to grad school two years later than you hoped? So what if you don't rush into the seriousness and commitment of a lifetime career yet?" I thought the answer would be, "It will change everything!" But when I answered honestly, there was relief in the conclusion that while my long-term goals would not be affected much, I would gain a great deal by allowing myself the time to pursue dreams I had pushed aside. I realized that once it's too late, once I have a mortgage and bills to pay and children's mouths to feed, I may look back and regret the season of my life when I had the freedom and ability to pursue my small dreams, but I let them pass me by.

This season is unique and should be cherished, not thrown to the wind. Hindsight is always 20/20, but when I look back I want to know that I dared to live and I dared to stay out of the box that society tells me my life should look like. This season is irreplaceable, take advantage of it, relish it, don't become so serious that you forget to enjoy the journey.

"First World Problems"

In the past few months, I have experienced the stark contrast between two different styles of life: being a full-time student and working full-time. While I was going to school, I always found myself looking forward to the days when I would be working 40 hours a week so that I would finally have time in the evenings and on weekends to do things. Now that I am in that stage of life, I constantly find myself daydreaming back to the days when I was in school and I remember all of the time I had throughout the day to get things done that I always took for granted. It's funny how perspectives change. The point is, that in every stage of life, it is so easy to get caught up in the day-to-day, the tasks and to-do lists, that we can lose focus on our ultimate goal. For example, being a student is of course about gaining an education, but that does not just mean gaining "booksmarts." Gaining an education and going away to school thankfully goes beyond textbooks and lectures and involves diverse elements woven together to make us the person we are when we graduate. Elements like, learning to live independently, learning to think critically, learning to challenge and explore ideas, learning to live harmoniously with others, some even learn financial planning, etc. But when it is 3:00 a.m. and you have a 20-page paper due the next day, it's easy to lose perspective and recognize that although important, the grade isn't everything. Similarly, while working full-time during the week, you see your co-workers, bosses, and to-do lists more than you see your family and friends. With this sort of time commitment, it's easy to keep your mind focused on the tasks at hand, even when you're not at work. What is so easy to forget is the reasons that so many of us work 40-hours a week in the first place. For many of us, it is to pay rent, to put food on the table, to have the resources to spend and enjoy time with family or friends, to have the resources to give yourself and maybe your family the lives that you dream of. Again, with so much business to get done it's easy to lose sight of the purpose.

Unfortunately, we often don't realize how devastating losing perspective is. When we lose perspective and get caught up in the day-to-day, we can lose sight of what's important, what has meaning, and what is truly significant. What a tragedy it is when one day we look around at our lives and we realize that we have mistaken life's little annoyances for great tribulations. By doing so, we allow our lives to have less joy and less compassion, something the world doesn't have enough of. Conversely, anyone who has experienced this knows how beautiful the joy is when we do gain perspective on a situation and realize how blessed we are to have on of our biggest troubles be the shattered screen on our brand new iphone 5 that we were fortunate enough to have the money to buy.

 In no way am I trying to discredit or brush over the true sufferings that life can plunge you into against your will. There are so many individuals who do suffer deeply because of life's circumstances. It is knowing that this authentic tribulation exists that should ground us with awareness and cause us to count our blessings. When we get frustrated or torn up about something, we may do ourselves well to stop and gain some perspective on the situation. Being frustrated about situations may often be warranted, but inflating the magnitude of the circumstances helps no one. In taking time to step back from our circumstances, although they may be unpleasant, we may become thankful that whatever our trouble is may be the worst of our worries and walk away with an enriched life full of compassion for those who may be deeply stuggling.

Reflecting on the importance and beauty of stepping back to gain perspective on situations causes me to think about the trendy phrase, "First world problems." This phrase is intended to do exactly what I have been talking about, give us perspective on our problems and help us recognize that many of our complaints are things that many individuals in third-world countries don't have the luxury of worrying about. If spoken out of love, the implications of this phrase could be powerful and encouraging. A compassion for the great struggles of others may rise up in us as we realize how fortunate we are to have many of the resources that we do. Sadly, I have yet to hear this phrase spoken in love; I have all too often heard it used instead in sarcastic, condescending, or belittling ways. Instead of conveying the message, "I know what you're dealing with is frustrating, but think of how wonderful your life is and all you have," it instead conveys, "Your problems are insignificant and don't matter, you really shouldn't even be upset about something so small." These two messages are completely opposites. The most devastatingly ironic part of this is that the purpose of this phrase, whether said with love or said condescendingly, is intended to invoke compassion for those who suffer through true hardship (whether in a first-world or third-world country), but by saying this phrase in any way other than an encouragement, the message itself defeats its own purpose. What I mean, is the purpose of the statement is to help people gain perspective of their situation and give them compassion for the problems of others, but by belittling someone through this statement, the person who says it, lacks the very compassion for the feelings and struggles of others that he or she is trying to instill.

Before we point out the lack of awareness and compassion of our friends and family, we need to first work on our own. We should be encouraging each other and building each other up, rather than tearing each other down. What joy and compassion for others would be restored to our lives if we not only took the time in frustrating moments to step back and look at our annoyances in the scope what tribulations are possible, but also decided to take a stance of compassion and true awareness of others and to be encouraging instead of disheartening.